A lot of soon-to-be parents are worried about breast feeding. Particularly, moms tend to be worried that they will have supply issues.
But, a somewhat lesser known problem is an over supply of breast milk. Our child generally didn’t need that much milk throughout the day and Betsy ended up being a superstar and was producing enough for our dude and managed to build up a huge supply.
Like, our freezer is jam-packed full of tiny little milk packets and we just have no more room!
So, the options for us were either A) force feed our kid or B) come up with another use for breast milk.
Enter… the breast milk cocktail!
Boobie White Russians
Ingredients
- 2 ounces fresh breast milk
- 2 ounces vodka
- 1 ounce Kahlua
- Ice
Instructions
- Steal two ounces of breast milk from baby supply.
- Mix with vodka and pour into cocktail glass with lots of ice.
- Pour Kahlua over the top and enjoy!
Did you make this recipe?
Why Use Breast Milk?
Breast milk is prized stuff, for sure. Some might say that using it for a cocktail is wasteful, but I say it’s better than letting it spoil and tossing it.
Plus, it’s actually really good. Imagine the creamiest whole milk in the world, plus nine months of work!
People frequently use prized ingredients in cocktails. Gold-flaked liquors exist after all. So why not use the most prized milk to make a delicious White Russian!
If you’ve ever made a good white russian, you know the ratio! Usually it’s about 1 part vodka to 1 part cream (or milk) and then a 1/2 part of Kahlua on top as a finish to the drink.
It might sound crazy, but is it really that much crazier than drinking milk from a cow?!
This stuff is the good stuff and you’re missing out if you aren’t trying it!
PS. Don’t steal breast milk from babies! They need it more than you do, you lush.
sarah
Hahaha i love this…your April fools day posts always get me!! (Like the year you said you were going to work for McDonalds) :)
Caroline L
LOL! Thank goodness for Sarah’s comment or else I wouldn’t have caught on! In my defense, I’ve had very little sleep due to my 5-week old… Did Theo have trouble during these “wonder weeks” I’m just learning about? Anyway, great post. Love the last line especially. Funny! :-)
Nick
Oh yes. We learned about the “Wonder weeks” also… I’d never heard of them before, but they hit us pretty hard also. The good news is that they do pass quickly!
Caroline L
Glad to hear it! :)
Caroline L
And I just saw the “total time” – LOL! I love this. I posted a link on a FB breastfeeding group I’m in.
Sara
This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life.
Lindsey C.
This is hilarious. And opens up the option of letting people know about Human Milk For Human Babies (HMFHB) where you can donate you over supply to mothers in need who prefer to feed their babies breast milk from a donor rather than formula feed. I’m just putting this out there as I donated a few times and still had enough frozen milk to stop pumping at 9 months and last baby through 12 months old.
Caroline L
Awesome, Lindsey!
Vivian
Hate to admit but you got me. Good one!
RK
APRIL FOOLS!!!
BH
Wow! Thought this was for real until I read the comments. Have to admit, I was a bit shocked throughout the entire post. And a little weirded/grossed out!
meghanssj
OMG. I was believing you through the second paragraph, and thinking, Geez, Nick really must be sleep deprived!! Ha ha. I hope your wife approved this post in advance.
ed
how naive I am
driving and listened to news program where hosts talked of pranks on “fools” day and thought to self that I would be on my toes and alert not to be tricked.
that didn’t last long
after reading comments and only after reading comments did I realize I had been had
love your recipes and your writing
Fortunatey freaking wheat berries recipe was real!
Charisse
You win best hoax! How long have you been sitting on this gem? Thank you for a great laugh.
Yasmin
Damnit! You got me again this year! I couldn’t believe my eyes!!!!
As an aside, anyone with extra breast milk out there – there are milk banks where you can donate it!
Yasmin
Laura
Now that REALLY is loving your left overs!
Connie
Oh my! Hahaha
Bryan
You got me. Hook, line and sinker!! It actually taste pretty good, especially when you put it in a shaker. It comes out frothy and extra creamy. Yummmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!
Rin
this is great! I was actually thinking how I’d ever be able to try one of these drinks. It’s not a horrible idea and if there weren’t other ways to share extra breast milk with those in need I don’t see why one wouldn’t try to enjoy it :)
Kathleen
Every. single. year. GAH.
Anita
For the first time since I have been reading your blog, you didn’t get me! But I think it’s because I saw it on facebook first! :)
Fun post though, thank you!
Billie
I thought for sure you were serious, then I remembered what day it was, so I started readying comments!!! This is one of the best so far!! Good one Nick!!
Mindy
Totally disgusting, and, as a mother to three breast fed babies, totally hilarious. Happy April fool’s day.
Maggie
Hahaha! Oh my god! I didn’t realize this was a joke until I scrolled down to the comments. I was trying to process this post in my head but kept thinking what is wrong with this guy??? Why doesn’t he just freeze the milk for later?? Oversupply is common at first.
LOL! Good one.
Beth @ Eat Within Your Means
I don’t want to admit how long it took me to realize this was a joke. In my defense, I’m about to have a baby so breastfeeding is on the brain. However, I was mostly lamenting the fact that oversupply is not a word I’m familiar with when it comes to nursing. I was totally coveting your freezer stash. And now I have overshared. Goodbye.
Carolynne
holy crow you scared the crap out of me. I definitely fell for this. Good thing I read the comments. Like the PP, I was definitely jealous of your wife’s oversupply. I’m in month 5 of breastfeeding and wishing for more supply each day. Sigh. Good one!
Austin
This last weekend the college friends got together with our newborns. One mother had a ridiculous excess supply, and the idea came up to make a cocktail from it. It was that or pour it down the sink. We first wanted to see if it was socially/culturally acceptable and came across this. We thought – Great! Other people do it! So I made a couple, following this recipe exactly, and read these comments about halfway through drinking mine. So…then it was weird again. Really believable article though!
Nick
Haha. That’s hilarious Austin. To be fair, I also tried it. ;)
PA
Yep, going to try it. I realize it is an April fools joke but I’ve helped my wife when your first stopped accepting breast milk and the pump wasn’t getting everything. It’s not bad and now may be made better lol.
Nick
LOL. Thanks for the laugh! :)